Fostering Self-Compassion

So… what the heck is self-compassion?

I think of self-compassion as treating yourself and speaking to yourself like you would someone you love and deeply care about. I believe that we have become very skilled as judging and criticising ourselves for perceived inadequacies and shortcomings. Self-compassion is when we speak to ourselves and treat ourselves gently - with patience, kindness, and understanding.

What does self-compassion do neurologically to the brain?

Leading self-compassion researcher, Kristin Neff, attributes the positive effects of self-compassion to the mammalian caregiving system. This system likely evolved to help us bond with other humans and take care of children. When we place a hand on our hearts, for example, we trigger the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin, sometimes called the love hormone, has been linked to feelings of generosity and trust. Further, self-compassion has been found to activate similar brain regions to those we use when expressing compassion and empathy towards others. Self-criticism, however, activates our amygdala, the part of our brain that responds to threats. This simulation causes the release of adrenaline and cortisol (our stress hormones), which prepare us to run away or fight a threat. Elevated cortisol levels, caused by ongoing stress, have been shown to affect memory, lower immune function, and put people at risk for a host of diseases including heart disease and depression.

 How can you implement self-compassion into your daily rituals?

1. Catch yourself out when you hear your inner critic making judgments and criticisms and ask yourself, how would I speak to a good friend, someone I deeply care about, a small child?

2. Journaling – keeping a self-compassion journal

3. Visualise and welcome in love / self-compassion / loving-kindness into your whole body, the felt sense of these emotions

4. Practice forgiveness toward yourself

5. Daily mindfulness/meditation practice

6. Touch – e.g. placing a hand on your heart and say a kind phrase to yourself